I read this a while ago and it really hits home, as many times, we as parents & educators, ‘help’ our children with good intentions without thinking of whether our ‘help’ will weaken or strengthen them.
“A man was an avid gardener. One day, he saw a small butterfly laying a few eggs in one of the pots in his garden. Since that day he looked at the egg with ever growing curiosity and eagerness. The egg started to move and shake a little. He was excited to see a new life coming up right in front of his eyes. He spent hours watching the egg now. The egg started to expand and develop cracks. A tiny head and antennae started to come out ever so slowly. The man’s excitement knew no bounds. He got his magnifying glasses and sat to watch the life and body of a pupa coming out. He saw the tender pupa struggling and suddenly felt this urge to ‘help’ rising from within him. He went and got a tender forcep with the intention to help the egg break. All that he intended to do was to give a nip here and a nip there to help the struggling life.
Lo! The pupa was out. The man was ecstatic! He waited now, each day, for the pupa to grow and fly about like a beautiful butterfly. But alas that never happened. The larvae pupa had an oversized head and kept crawling along in the pot for the full four weeks before it died. The man, in a depressed state of mind, went to his botanist friend who to his shock told him how in effect he had killed the butterfly! The botanical expert went on to explain that the struggle to break out of the egg helps the larvae to send the blood to its wings and the head push helps the head to remain small so that the tender wings can support it through its four week life-cycle. In his eagerness to help, the man had actually destroyed a beautiful life. ”
By protecting our children from facing life’s struggles and harsh realities, are we hindering their growth? We all want our children to be strong individuals with great self-esteem, but how will that happen if we don’t let them struggle? If we don’t let them fail and prevent them from facing the consequences of their actions, then how is it possible to foster responsibility, confidence, and success in a child? Schools and homes must be very careful not to over help a child. Schools and homes must be safe places for the child to fall, get back up, fall again, learn, grow and evolve. Let’s allow this to happen.